"I would have so many girls' numbers by now if I went here..."

In hindsight, stressing the incredible importance of the California Standards Test to my kids was a double-edged sword: while the majority of them took the test honestly and seriously, that same majority right now sees little point to learning anything more this school year. Quite frankly, their agony each day is understandable, considering the fact that only maybe 50% of my Algebra students will be ready to pass on to the next math class. By now, the kids have a pretty good idea in their mind of whether they will be passing or retaking their math class, regardless of the daily elements of trickery that I employ to get them to pick up their pencil and do something. To put it simply, it is no surprise to me that my lowest students have zero desire to learn about simplifying rational expressions when they will begin again next year back at adding and subtracting negative numbers. Who can blame them? It's the higher-end students whose whining really gets to me. It's hard to point out to them in a politically correct way that the reason why they didn't do as well as they could on the CST is because we have been held back all year by their classmates who still count on their fingers, possibly being the same students that misbehave when they don't want to draw attention to the fact that they don't get it. But the thing is that no matter how much I try to tell them, these higher-level students don't quite feel the urgency that I am trying to convey because RHS is the only education they know right now, and based on the standards set by the school and their peers, they are doing just fine. I'd say this is the sole reason that my Precalculus class has been a rude awakening to many a successful student.

Anyway, my meeting in the middle philosophy has landed me at the conclusion to show a video every Friday until the end of school. Please take note - I tell this to my students too - that I said a VIDEO, not a MOVIE. While I am fully aware that they would much rather pass the time with Finding Nemo, I've decided to show them some PBS: NOVA shows that are actually pretty engaging. The frustrating part is convincing the students to give the show a chance and actually pay attention so that they will find elements of math to be interesting. I compare it to my childhood eating habits: if the food looks like I won't like it, then why eat it? It's much easier to push to the side of the plate and act like it's not there. Either that, or spread it around the plate evenly so it just looks like random scraps that were left unfinished. My students would much prefer to shove mathematics to the side of their dinner plate and pretend like it doesn't exist, like peppers or onions or mushrooms in meal when I was seven years old, ignoring the fact that maybe the meal would not have tasted the same without those ingredients. They just are missing the link between math and real-world applications, but every time I try to fill in that void with what I believe to be interesting and engaging things, I can barely get their full attention to even get their brains moving on the subject. Maybe I should use the food metaphor in class.

I have introduced you to my complaints only to give some background to see how sometimes I come home with the attitude that these kids SUCK. And I only feel comfortable admitting that because we went on a field trip today to Sonoma State University and was struck by the fact that these kids are AWESOME. When you only see another person for an hour a day - during which you are trying to get them to perform in the one subject they absolutely despise - your vision of the human being is slightly skewed. It was clear to me today that sometimes these kids really just need to physically get out of Richmond so that they can do two things: for one, it gives them the opportunity to play like they are little kids, because their home community forces them to grow up too fast, making them deal with issues that are too emotionally big for them to properly handle at their age. Secondly, it helps them really think about what they can do with their lives. Something about Richmond makes these kids feel like they will always be in Richmond; but watching the kids get excited about the facilities offered at a college - and the enthusiasm with the idea of living on their own in their own dorm or apartment - made me really happy. I have never heard as many students as today say that they really and truly want to go to college. The cool thing was that I knew it was real because they kept telling me that they wanted to go to THIS college, which I know is because it's the first college they have ever been to, aside from maybe UC Berkeley, which is just ridiculously overwhelming for the average RHS student. Part of me is really sad that in one month I will be giving out way too many D and F grades that will keep these students one more step away from what they may have decided today is what they want to do with their life after high school. It makes me realize that teaching would be a hard profession to leave if I taught the same group of kids each year as they progress through high school, and it also makes me wish a little bit that I could reteach a lot of my D and F students again next year to give them and myself another chance.

One of my students commented to me that everyone he saw was pretty much white, and I told him that most colleges are that way, and that's exactly the thing that the nation is trying to change. It was definitely the first time I felt that a student completely understood the idea of the achievement gap and the mission to close it. Nevermind the fact that this was immediately followed by a conversation about how many girls' phone numbers he would have had by now if he went to school there.

Today was a good day.