If it weren't for procrastination I doubt I would have this blog

One of the many things that Teach For America conveniently forgets to tell you during your application process is just how much crap you have to do for your local teacher credentialing program in order to actually be a teacher. It makes sense now that I had such a hard time explaining to everyone how it is possible that I would be a real teacher, after having not gotten a teaching degree. The money for the credentialing program is one headache, and the second-biggest headache (one of many) is the Teaching Performance Assessment that must be taken once every two months. It is an online assessment for which we have to pretty much write the equivalent of 20-30 pages of redundancy. At the orientation for each new assessment, the person in charge always explains to us that if one of the questions asks you something that you feel like you have already answered, you must answer it again in a new way. It is ridiculous, and I feel like it grades you more on your ability to bullshit well than your ability to teach well. This next one is due on Monday, so naturally, I am making the best use of my time and writing on the blog instead.

On the bright side of things, this week I think was the best week so far this entire school year - I went home happy every single day. Exhausted, but happy. I decided to come back from break with a new plan for Algebra (my occasionally awful classes) where we pretty much started the year over to review all the things I have taught so far. Many of these kids don't mind describing themselves as lazy and impatient, which is scary, but most of the time I would agree with them. To deal with that, I have been creating "cheat sheet" worksheets for them where I have done all the notes for them and all they have to do is read the directions and answer the problems. I think they like it because I told them they can work at their own pace as long as they are always working in class. A lot of my 0% F students are actually doing some work now and my higher achieving kids can go on ahead instead of becoming huge distractions when they are done early. I don't so much know yet how I'm going to reconvene to teach the next new concept, but right now I'm just enjoying happy afternoons and not worrying about it yet!

In other news, yesterday at school we had a Black History Month assembly, and I think I have said it before: that our students and assemblies do not mesh well. Our student to teacher ratio doesn't really provide much enforcement when you put 1000 students into one school theater for a collection of presentations and performances. That being said, a couple things surprised me during the student-run assembly: first of all, the "school band" consisted of about nine people playing instruments, two of them teachers (I know that this job is affecting my perspectives because my surprise came from the fact that we even HAD a band). Secondly, our students are huge into dance - over half the assembly included performances from all periods of jazz dance (yes, a class). But the third thing really threw me off: throughout the entire assembly, there was all sorts of chaos in the audience until the student emcee invited to the mic the mother and sister of an African-American student that had been killed this past year. Once they took the podium, there was utter and complete silence, which was just chilling since it had just a few seconds before been crazy in that theater. I felt bad for the mom and sister, but the most emotional part for me was that you could feel how real it all was for the students in that room - they immediately knew the gravity of what was being said, despite the fact that so many of them seem incapable of giving their attention to any other speaker at that podium. It just made me realize how inconsequential day-to-day school classes must seem to those students that experience the community violence and its effects at its deepest level.

It's hard to push students to do work in class when their mind is wrapped up in things like this; no wonder student-teacher conflicts are a dime a dozen in Richmond. But then how do I help to remedy any of that without pointing towards things that are out of my control? This job has provided me many observations and reflections, but so far, those have only spurred more questions that I have no idea how to answer.