Clearly I have found that when things get hectic, the blog is one of the first things to go. Not having deadlines or external expectations on this thing really tests my personal motivation and willpower.
I am currently at school on a work day (no students) so that we can finish grades for the semester. Second semester starts tomorrow, and the idea of being done with half of the year is truly glorious. Hopefully this entry emanates a happy mood considering I just got back from a Oregon ski trip this past weekend, spending time with younger college friends - and playing the part of the wise out-of-college friend (they're so gullible...). The first half of the day today has been devoted to a visit from Laura van Dernoot Lipsky and a presentation on the topics of her book, "Trauma Stewardship" http://traumastewardship.com/, which was actually amazing. She talked all about how to make your profession a sustainable and joyful experience, which I will admit has been a new year's resolution for me. In the faculty conversations that followed, I was surprised to hear that many teachers that have been around for a long time think that this past semester was the most difficult yet, for violence and other reasons.
If nothing else, I hope reading and reflecting on this book will curb some of my insanity that is beginning to feel somewhat like an addiction to stress - knowing that there is always more to be done, and the general feeling that I am not fulfilling the Teach For America expectations unless I am killing myself with work. I do believe that I will suggest that TFA recruits this woman to speak to new corps members because she talks all about how to care for yourself while caring for others, which is by far the biggest issue I see among friends and colleagues, and often feel myself. Right now, there is always a feeling that I have forgotten something - to a point that I refresh my email three times in five minutes so that I can be aware of everything I need to do... which is so counter-intuitive, because I create stress for myself enough as it is! Sometimes I feel like I have a stress addiction. Maybe that means I'm addicted to adrenaline. I do like scary movies a lot...
Anyway, this presentation came at a good time of the year when everyone really needed it. I certainly needed the break after giving literally half of my students Ds or Fs on their report card. Our teaching community needed it after a shooting that happened last Thursday, killing a former RHS student. Turns out all the teachers just needed to talk about this stuff, because as the analogy was presented to us, we are all like sponges, and unless we get wrung out every once in a while, we can't take in any more of this trauma, and we start becoming desensitized to it. I am looking forward to reading the book, because I think there is more that I can do for myself besides soccer and a good cry every once in a while.
On the bright side, the talks made the whole faculty think about things they can do to improve their care for themselves, and a group of us teachers made a pact that we will run a half-marathon in March, so I guess I'm going to start going on runs with other teachers right after school. I figured it would be good for soccer anyway...
Ok back to grading; grades are due in a couple hours.
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